The bachelor recap james weir

The Bachelor: where time and space stands still and we continue to blame everything on Mel Schilling. The Bachelor mansion has been pummelled by a vulgar C-word scandal that has ended in a disgusted walkout by the man himself and left audiences searching Urban Dictionary to figure out when exactly the oddly specific insult became a thing.

Whoever made the decision to install Samantha on this show is a genius. Osher needs to take notes. Tonight, we meet our five new farmers and the slew of normies hoping to win their hearts. Warning: there are too many contestants to list in this premiere recap and the initial rules are convoluted. A couple of SUVs pull up and out tumble all the girls, who are dressed appropriately for farm life:. Then two more cars arrive with the group of boy normies for Farmer Paige.

The bachelor recap james weir

All the wom-en who in-de-pen-dent. Tonight, all the contestants gather at bachelor and bachelorette parties. But this recap is not a comprehensive catalogue of all the single weirdos. We will only be shining a spotlight on the top shelf freaks. Well, you are just a breath of fresh air, Melissa. After just 40 seconds, we feel like we know everything about Melissa. She loves sex and her favourite singer is probably P! Then Melissa struts across the room and corners Sandy. Melissa sees herself as somewhat of a sexy Yoda. Yeah, girls. Show some respect!

All the wom-en who in-de-pen-dent.

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Melissa Mason. You know when you go through the security bit at the airport and you immediately become hyper-paranoid, like wait maybe I have a secret gun in my bag? That paranoia is how I feel about The Bachelors Australia after all this hoo-ha with shifting launch dates and a very suspicious January 9 premiere. Not that I think The Bachelors Australia is going to turn into a Hunger Games bloodbath although honestly, for ratings, I can see it in our future. I need this season to be good!!

The bachelor recap james weir

This week, Joey met four families — and then sent a frontrunner home. This week on The Bachelor , by the numbers: Four hometown dates, one shocking departure, and three final women for Joey. Date No. Kelsey greets Joey with a huju , as required by Bachelor law. The matchy-matchy duo rides a tandem bike around City Park , which Kelsey last did with her late mother. Am I seriously already tearing up? Damn this show! Later, as Joey and Kelsey stuff their faces with beignets, they spot a bride being photographed nearby. Joey wants to know how that makes Kelsey feel.

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Save share Share this article facebook copy link twitter linkedin reddit email. The confidence comes from being an individual. Let's focus on the present, which happens to be six days ago. We know enough. Despite Abbie's foot juice breath, she gets a pash and scores a rose. The Bachelor: where time and space stands still and we continue to blame everything on Mel Schilling. Mel B has embraced her most 'freeing' years yet. Harrison seems a little jittery and producers ask him what his biggest fear is. What comes next are intimate and informative 45 second rounds of speed dating. Dogs and cantaloupes are now haunting his dreams. His answer? Then Melissa struts across the room and corners Sandy. Silver linings.

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I got multiple men. Yeah, girls. Then she swigs her wine and tries to think of how she can weave more of her sex freak exploits into the conversation. The bad … and the good. I mean that both literally and figuratively. Apparently, after their kiss at the cocktail party, she overheard Monique cutting sick about it and hurling cantaloupes. Battered and bruised, he demands everyone drop their cantaloupes. That defence is bulletproof. Do we even know much about the farmers? Throwing cantaloupes around is a dangerous game. But enough about these randoms. Despite Abbie's foot juice breath, she gets a pash and scores a rose. My gosh, Sogand, you should be a lawyer. She regales him with a succession of random tales and facts — including one about a trip she took to a dairy and how she loved the teat suction machine.