Witty fb status

Want to delight your social media friends? Borrow from this list of funny quotes and sayings for Facebook status, and enjoy some great laughs yourself! Yes, you can use these for Instagram posts and stories too. Social media platforms reward engagement with engagement, witty fb status.

You think I'm not online. But I'm always here. Even if I'm not posting. I'm here. Calling someone without texting first is the new showing up unannounced.

Witty fb status

Submit a Status Message. Sort: Recent Oldest Rating. Search Messages:. Most Recent. You lose undercover haters. Real friends can never be lost. The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have now started asking humans to prove they are not a robot. We really missed the mark with that one. Could be cuddled up with a bear right about now, but whatever. I put wake up and drink coffee on mine. The ghosts from A Christmas Carol are the scariest, because they show you what people are saying about you behind your back. That must really suck.

Love it - so very funny by: Anonymous I love you, love your site. Whoever invented the idea that your harshest critic is yourself was clearly never married.

Discover over funny Facebook status messages that are sure to attract more comments on your profile. This collection not only includes hilarious status updates but also features amusing Facebook posts and quotes. It is nothing to worry about because there are various ways through which you can also compel them to like your Facebook status. You must have heard from your parents that they used humor as a tool to keep themselves different from anyone else and make the situation hilarious with funny jokes. These are some of the funny status quotes for Facebook that can impress you. These are funny FB posts you can post on your FB wall. If you are not happy or you want a funny post for Facebook about a specific topic, use our AI free writer above.

Quitting Facebook is the new adult version of running away from home. Thanks for the birthday wishes from everyone who noticed my name today in the upper right corner of your Facebook page. The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one. Except that Waldo is looking for a job, too. A train station is where the train stops.

Witty fb status

In this blog post, we will be sharing over funny Facebook status ideas and messages. So sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the funniest Facebook statuses out there! We all need to take a break from our stressful lives and laugh once in a while. So, we thought why not make this easy for you? Here are some of the best Facebook status quotes that will have everyone laughing their heads off! When deciding on the best caption for your Facebook message, you should utilize your mood and make an excellent feeling. Think about what mood or feeling is most appropriate when deciding on this crucial part of writing! Do you know that laughter is the best medicine? Laughter has been shown to improve your mood, increase your lifespan, and even boost your immune system. So, why not add some humor to your day with a funny Facebook status?

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Nothing to update on Facebook? Make love, not war. Thanks for the birthday wishes from everyone who noticed my name today in the upper right corner of your Facebook page. Submit a Status Message. Pretty printable gift tags for gift giving all year round. I coughed up two daffodils and a pine cone this morning. Hundreds of years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove. Some people should consider having multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities. Real friends can never be lost. Or keep scrolling for more!

Discover 45 hilarious Facebook status ideas for maximum laughs with these tips and tricks. Keep your friends entertained and engaged with these witty and funny status updates. Laugh out loud and boost your social media game!

Often times, people take me for a good listener. Life would be perfect if some girls had mute buttons, some guys had edit buttons, bad times had fast forward buttons, and good times had pause buttons. I now pronounce you man and wife. It might be called social media, but all I do is share photos and ignore people. My wife and I have a perfect understanding. So if anybody asks, just say I'm outstanding! They just know the car opened and started, so their keys must be somewhere. People with push-to-start cars never know where their keys are. I went to see my doctor. These are funny FB posts you can post on your FB wall. Discover over funny Facebook status messages that are sure to attract more comments on your profile. I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you: the more you have, the longer you live.